Dealing with the Illness of a Spouse

Dealing with the Illness of a SpouseUnexpected.

Causing uncontrollable sobbing on my part.

The feeling of living in multiple worlds that sometimes clash or collide and cause these severe emotions because these worlds are so DIFFERENT.

Nothing like we desired or expected. And yet it IS.

So how do we best deal? Move forward and see if there’s a way to improve things? Or accept it (at least for now) because it might never change.

The Daddy Brain Radio Show KIDS AND CONFLICT November 4, 2013

WorkshopForDadsDaddyBrain

 

The Daddy Brain Radio Show: Kids & Conflict

Monday, November 4 @ 7pm CT

Have you ever thought about how to talk with your kids about war and conflict?

It’s a delicate topic that many parents aren’t comfortable breeching. Our first guest, Niki Walker, has written a book called Why Do We Fight, which focuses on helping our kids understand, and think critically, about conflict and war in the world. She’ll be sharing some of her insights on healthy ways to discuss this sensitive subject.

Our second guest, Dr. Mark Brady, Ph.D. will talk with us about conflict and discord within our own homes. We’ll be focusing on conflict between siblings, spouses, parents and their kids — as well as how negative forms of discipline can play a role in children’s perception of conflict resolution.

I hope you’ll tune in on Monday, November 4 at 7pm CT for the Daddy Brain Radio show on the WORT access hour.

Local Listeners Tune in to 89.9 FM

Listen from anywhere in the world by going to WORT Radio’s Home Page and clicking on the “Listen Live” button in the upper right hand corner.

Want to Join the Conversation? I’ll be taking calls throughout the hour at: (608) 256-2001.

And remember, you are not alone …

Healing from the Loss of a Child

HealingFromTheLossOfaChild

You might be wondering, what’s the significance of a girl’s T-shirt in a post about the loss of a child? Or in our case, the loss of two children.

For me and my wife it represents our two girls — Skye and Sheila.

And every time I walk into my local Target I’m reminded of them.

Typically, I enter the store through the same doors, the one that leads past the women’s section into the girls’ department. I always look at what’s on display to see what I think my girls would like.

Some may think this is inflicting pain unnecessarily onto myself. But it’s not. It’s a way for me to honor my girls, and even though it hurts it’s important for me to REMEMBER them and acknowledge their existence.

Before we had our two boys, Max and Joss, we had two ectopic pregnancies — the second of which almost killed my wife. These were our girls.

Whether you’re a mom or a dad, if you’ve experienced an ectopic pregnancy, it’s OK to talk about it. It’s OK to hurt. There are more of us in mourning that you realize.

In reality, it’s not something we’ll ever heal from — the pain is something we cope with.

And remember, you are not alone …

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The Daddy Brain Workshop for Dads

The Daddy Brain Workshop
Saturday, October 19, 2013

DaddyBrain

WHERE
Meriter Hospital
2650 Novation Parkway
Madison, WI 53713

WHEN
10–11:30 a.m.

TOPICS INCLUDE
– Dad’s emotional life
– Transition into fatherhood
– Co-parenting
– Positive and negative forms of discipline
– Maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner
– Intimacy issues
– Coping with exhaustion
– Bonding with baby
– Second-class parent syndrome
– Goals for dad, kids and the family
– Maintaining a balance, as best as possible
– Supporting mom and and asking for support

For more info, or to register, please visit Meriter Hospital’s website.

And remember, you are not alone …

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Coping with Exhaustion

Exhaustion.

It’s something that haunts my existence constantly these days. And if you’re a fellow parent, chances are you feel the same.

The question is, how are we coping with our exhaustion? Are we treating our kids and our spouse in a way we’re happy with? Or are we constantly crabby, finding it hard not to be set off by the smallest thing.

When it takes just about every ounce of focus for us to accomplish just what needs to be done today, how do we find the time and energy to work on improving our family’s future?

I’ve become accustomed to feeling exhaustion. It’s the new normal. Problem is, I don’t see any relief in sight.

But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up.

What I’ve found is that if I continue to work on what I call my foundational balance – which consists of exercise, sleep, eating well, some form of meditation, and having an occasional date with my wife – I’m still exhausted, but my temperament is far more positive.

I’m the first tot admit that when I don’t work on my foundational balance, I’m no fun to be around.

What about you?

And remember, you are not alone …

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Engineering Better Kids

Every child has his or her own personality.

But how do we discern what parts are genetic, as opposed to learned?

Both my boys are awesome kids, but my older son has had a growing tendency towards whining and complaining.

Condemning him for acting this way would be a bad choice. But allowing it go on unchecked would be just as bad.

What it comes down to is that whining and complaining are habits my son has developed to cope with certain situations. And the more we use habits – just like a muscle – the stronger they get.

My job is to call him on his behavior, AND to help him find alternative behaviors that are more positive.

If we allow our kids to whine and complain, back out of commitments, be rude to their siblings, etc, we’re creating adults who are likely to do the same. In other words, we’re disabling them. The trick is to help our kids without making them feel bad about themselves.

Not an easy task.

Which is why when we’re trying to engineer better kids, we have to start by re-engineering ourselves.

And remember, you are not alone …

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The Daddy Brain Radio Show – Father’s Day Edition

Father’s Day.

It can stir up strong emotions and memories for many of us. Some good, some bad.

Join me for the Father’s Day Edition of the Daddy Brain Radio Show on Monday, June 18th, 2012 @ 7pm CDT.

You can listen in from anywhere in the world! See details below.

The Topic?
How the way we’ve been treated by our dads has shaped who we are today – for better or for worse. We’ll also take a look at how our relationship with our dads has shaped the way we treat our own kids.

It’s true that Father’s Day is an opportunity to honor our dads, but it can also be a time to reflect on our own lives – who we are, who we want to be, and if we’re affecting our kids’ lives in positive ways.

I hope you’ll tune in on Monday, June 18th at 7pm CDTfor the Daddy Brain Radio show on the WORT access hour.

Local Listeners
Tune in to 89.9 FM

Listen from Anywhere in the World
Just click on the following link to download live online streaming audio in either MP3 or AAC format. It’s as easy as clicking a button to start listening!

http://www.wort-fm.org/listen.php

Want to Join the Conversation?
I’ll be taking calls throughout the hour at: (608) 256-2001.

And remember, you are not alone …

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