The Loss of Time & the Art of Surviving

Lost Time & The Art of SurvivalI find it hard to believe that it’s been 4 months since my last blog post.

I have plenty to say, but three jobs, karate, swimming, financial stress — and doing my best to be a good dad and husband have left me tired and out of time.

Blogging, which was once done 3X per week, is now perpetually on the back burner. And this makes me sad.

I’ve recently started exercising and meditating again, which is helping me hold everything together. 15 minutes here, 10 minutes there, I feel like a thief stealing time that no longer belongs to me.

Survival trumps just about everything. But if all we focus on is survival, then we’re essentially standing still — or worse sinking in metaphorical quick sand. Yuck.

So, how do we get unstuck?

MOVEMENT.

Especially moving our eyes up & over the junk that lies before us. If we can look past the junk, we can see where we’d like to go. Once we accomplish this, we can take steps to get there. I’ve gotten into the habit of doing one or two major things each week to move my progress forward. And inch by inch, I am moving closer to my goals.

You can do this, too. I know you can. The trick is to stop thinking about it, and start doing it. Put it on the schedule — actually on your calendar — and do it.

Start today. Even if it’s only for 3 minutes.

And remember, you are not alone …

Living with Loss

Loss. It’s something we all live with every day.

There are times where I find myself harping on what I’ve lost in life instead of what I have, or what I’ve gained.

The loss of a job, a loved one, or one’s own health can make it difficult for us to move forward with our lives. It can often feel that we’ve lost the ability to smile.

On the one hand, I don’t want to ignore how I’m feeling. But I also don’t want to dwell on the past. I have a future to create, and my family is depending on me to succeed. 

In order to counter my feelings of loss, I’ve started being very conscious of how I perceive my curent situation. I’ve been looking for the positive, instead of lingering on what’s lacking.

Every morning I smile, grateful that my wife is next to me, and that my two boys are healthy. I’ve started realizing how lucky we all are, and that although I have experienced loss in my life, every day we all wake up is a good day.

Each of us are creating our tomorrows. And what we focus our attention on has a way of manifesting as our reality. 

If we’re focusing on loss, than we’re perpetuating more of the same. And in doing so, we’re losing time to make a difference in our future by dwelling on the past.

I for one am tired of this. How about you? 

And remember, you are not alone …

Family Blogs

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Grow a Moustache, Help Cure Cancer?

selleckmagnumWelcome to Daddy Brain, where the moustache is more than fuzz on a man’s face.

Grow a Stach and Help Cure Cancer
Movember.com is the place to go if you’re interested in registering to grow a stash for a very good cause – “raising funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men.”

You can also make a donation without actually growing a stash (this is a great option, especially if you’re a woman).

Looking for Information About the Stash?
The New York Times wrote an interesting article a while back. Kind of a fashion meets history take on the subject.

THE MOUSTACHE METAPHOR …
What in the world could a moustache have to do with your future? Especially if you’re a woman?

Like a moustache, the thoughts we think & the words we speak grow out of us and become reality. In addition, these same thoughts and words attract energy to us. This energy actually manifests into reality.

If our thoughts and words are negative, then negativity is coming out of us AND we’re drawing it toward us from the outside. As you can imagine, the results of this are, well, negative.

On the flip side, positive thoughts and words helps us emit positivity, and in turn we draw the positive to us.

This is not some random idea that I’ve chosen to express. This concept has been around for a very long time. Here’s what Napoleon Hill has to say about it in his fantastic book, Think and Grow Rich. Although it was first published in 1937, it remains relevant, inspiring and motivating to this day (in other words, I highly recommend it):

“The ether in which this little planet floats, in which we move and have our being, is a form of energy moving at an inconceivably high rate of vibration, and the ether is filled with a form of universal power which adapts itself to the nature of the thoughts we hold in our minds; and influences us, in natural ways, to transmute our thoughts into their physical equivalent.

Our brains become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds.By means by which no one is familiar, these “magnets” attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts …”

One thing I wonder about is this: if I know this, if I believe it – then why is it so difficult for me to be positive? Why does it seem so much easier to be negative when I KNOW that it’s working against me?

Every day I set a goal to be positive – no matter what. Yet every day it is a struggle to be consistently positive.

Is it a personality trait, a human trait, a learned behavior?

What I do know is that feeding my mind with the positive helps tremendously. Whether it’s books, music, movies, talking with an empowering friend like my wife – whatever – the more positive stuff I put in, the more positive I am.

Being mindful of what I think about and focus my attention on also helps. Having command of our thoughts is a habit that needs practice in order to get good at it. We need to learn to stay positive, even in the face of negativity from others.

Simple, yet effective, smiling can change my mood in an instant – although my wife says I look insane when I make myself smile.

Whether I’m growing a moustache, or living my life, I want to grow something good.

And if anybody sees Magunm, tell him to put a shirt on already. 

And remember, you are not alone …

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Peace: The Final Frontier

As a native New Yorker, September 11th is something I think about every day — even 10 years later.

All the lives lost. All the families shattered.

And it’s still happening. There are innocent people dying right now because of war and terrorism.

I wonder if our world will ever evolve beyond this into a place of peace. Even with all our technical advancement, greed and short sightedness (not to mention hatred) have kept us in the dark ages.

I’d like to take a moment to send peace and healing to all the families who have lost loved ones. May we honor them by living our lives to the fullest, being grateful for our families and by spreading peace wherever we can.

And remember, you are not alone …

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The Greatest Risk of All: Losing Quality Time with Our Kids

As I work to support my wife and kids financially, and build a career for myself, I feel something far more important is slipping away.

I am lucky enough to spend time with my boys every day, but that time is filled with cooking and baths, cleaning up and getting them ready for bed. Lots of doing. There’s not much sit down and be in the moment play time with Max and Joss – and it’s breaking my heart.

Right now I’m working six days a week and there’s no guarantee that any of it will amount to anything more than next week’s paycheck. But what in life is a sure thing? Nothing is risk free.

And as my kids fight over toys and which video game they’re going to play with, they’re getting older. I find myself wishing that everything would just stop for a while and we could just play.

But that’s my choice, isn’t it? Sure, the kids have to cooperate and buy into it – but it’s my choice whether my next day off is filled with to dos, or time well spent with my family.

Have you spent a quality day with your kids lately?

And remember, you are not alone …

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The Romance Challenge: Learning to Date Your Wife Again

When was the last time you went on a date with your wife?

Did your conversation include talking about the kids, the bills or some other type of responsible discussion?

If so, then there’s a good chance you’ve lost the romance in what’s supposed to be the most romantic relationship in your life. I’ve never been overly romantic, but compared to how I was when I was dating my wonderful wife, I’ve slipped even further away from my romantic side.

Do I still love my wife? Of course. Do I sill find her sexy, interesting and attractive? Indeed I do.

But if I don’t take the time to be romantic with her, there’s a chance the connection we have will wither away. In other words, I can’t let stress, exhaustion, work, caring for my kids, my speaking career, mowing the lawn and all the other stuff in my life get in the way of keeping the romance alive in my marriage.

I have a friend who recently got divorced. Last time I saw her, she told me that the marriage ended because her and her husband had simply become friends. There was no fire left, no spark. If we don’t procure the romance in our marriage it might just disappear forever.

It’s time to begin the romance challenge. First up, making a date, and learning how to actually treat it like a date.

Who’s with me?

And remember, you are not alone …

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