What is a Wife?

I thank the Universe every day for blessing me with my wife. She far surpasses anything I ever imagined a wife could be.

If it weren’t for my wife, my life would be completely different, and quite frankly I think it would kind of suck. I would not be who I am today — plain and simple.

It’s because of my wife that I have learned to let go of my anger and heal from Crohn’s disease. Because of her, I am a professional writer. And it’s because of her that I have tried every endeavor that I was passionate about. Whether I succeeded or fell at the speed of light into failure, she supported me, believed in me and never complained or tried to stop me. Now that’s one darn good wife. And she’s cute too!

Without her strength and support, my chances of accomplishing these things would have diminished greatly.

As grateful as I am, I find it difficult these days (as a busy and exhausted dad) to take a moment — a real moment — to be together and regenerate. We don’t have any support since we moved away from home (for a job opportunity). It’s just us out here in the frozen tundra that is Wisconsin.

I’d like to make today National Bond with Your Spouse Day. Forget Valentine’s Day, let’s make today a day where the sweet smelling gift we give is not roses (or cake — yum!), but the gift of ourselves. Let’s take some time today to be grateful for our spouse and spend some quality time together.

Honey, thank you for being my wife. Thank you for all your love, support and patience with me.

I love you.

: ^ )

And remember, you are not alone…

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Out of energy. Out of time. Out of Luck?

It is almost midnight here in Wisconsin — better known lately as the frozen tundra, a place where an hour long drive to work on a sheath of ice zaps what little energy I might have.

For me the time is a relevant issue. I should be in bed, but my desire for rest is usurped by my need for some time to myself.

In one of my recent posts, The Road to Nowhere, I wrote about my belief that we have the power to create our reality. I’ve been thinking more and more about how we, mere mortals, are supposed to overcome the obstacles of exhaustion and lack of time, and somehow recreate our reality into something more positive and fulfilling.

Let’s face it — it’s a lot easier to write about changing one’s reality than actually doing it. Of course one could argue that writing about it is one of the elements in the manifestation process. But where do we fit in the time to take meaningful steps for change when we work all day, then come home to play with our kids, feed them and get them to bed? For me, when all is said and done it’s about 10 pm, and by this time of night I’m burnt out — how about you?

And yeah, there’s that thing about it already being 10 pm. The day is just about done unless you want to stay up late, which will have you feeling burnt out tomorrow. So you’ve got to decide the burnout factor. What’s your burnout tolerance? Mine is pretty high, so I’m able to get little things done at night — maybe an hour or two of productive work (and the occasional game of internet poker) before I lay down to the comfort of my bed.

This is one of the most frustrating problems I have ever faced. I often feel like I’m making no progress at all. If I look forward, it appears that nothing’s really happening. It just seems like what no matter what I do, I’m spinning my wheels and wasting what little time I have.

But if I look back into the past, I can clearly track the arc of progress I’ve made in my life. I remember going through really awful times, some of them life threatening, feeling that same “motionless” sensation. Or worse, literally sliding further and further downward into an ugly, negative place. But things did change. Although at the time there didn’t appear to be any change occurring until a new reality manifested.

The other day I was feeling exceptionally down and my 4-year old son noticed. He asked me why I was so sad. Then he told me:

“Don’t give up dad. You can’t give up. You just have to keep trying and do your best…”

And he’s right. This is the message I’d like to share with you. We’re only failures if we give up — so don’t! All we can do is our best each day, keeping in mind that which we’d like to create. It could take years, but it is possible.

If you take enough micro-steps they add up to a step. If you keep your momentum going (even if it falters at times) a step will turn into many steps. If you do your part, one day you’ll look back and see that you overcame what seems insurmountable today.

I think it’s also so important that we ask the Universe (God, Buddha, or however we refer to the power that is “bigger” than us) for help. There’s no shame in asking for help, and I have found the Universe is glad to give it.

Thank you Universe!

If you would like to read more of my thoughts about creating your own reality, please click: Anything is Possible; The Magic Quarter: Creating your own reality; and The Road to Nowhere: It’s not too late to recreate your reality.

And remember, you are not alone.

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Leap Day: The Next National Holiday?

As a dad who works a full-time job, I think leap day should be a national holiday.

I’m always looking for an excuse for a day off, and a day that shouldn’t really exist anyway seems like a perfect choice! I don’t think our jobs would mind  it’s not like we’re deducting a day of work from the year, we’re just not adding one! We full timers don’t get paid an additional 1/365th for the day, so why bother? Wouldn’t it be better to spend one of the last days of winter snug at home with our families?

Blame it on Julius Caesar, the father of leap year. It’s all his fault. Well, actually it’s the fault of his astronomer, Sosigenes, who worked out the details. Couldn’t he have made leap day on the weekend? This way we’d have Saturday, Sunday, Leap Day and then a 4 day work week!

Anyway, Happy Leap Day everybody.

And remember, you are not alone…

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The Fart

A couple of weekends ago a pretty special thing happened.

The whole family was napping, which is rare occurrence in our household. My older son Max (almost 4) woke up, came into our room and laid next to me like he always does.

I had been thinking about my blog, so I decided to share my thoughts with him. I explained that one of the biggest reasons I blog is for him and his brother. How I’m documenting my thoughts and feelings about being a dad so they will have a record of exactly what was on my mind when they were little. I went on and on about how grateful I am to be a dad, how important my boys are to me and how much I love them.

Then I asked Max, “does that sound good?” Usually Max is quick to answer a question. But instead, a peaceful silence filled the room. And then…

He farted!

His response to my heartfelt diatribe was a fart. And in that moment, I realized that in some strange way it was the perfect response. Time stood still, briefly, and everything I had just spoken about was affirmed in the honesty of a fart.

Who says gas stinks!

And remember, you are not alone…

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The Road to Nowhere: It’s not too late to recreate your reality

Those of us old enough to remember the band, The Talking Heads, know that this is the title of a fantastic song. But what about the roads we travel each day? The path that we’ve carved out for ourselves, or the one that we unwillingly walk because it’s the only one we see?

I often feel mixed emotions about my existence. On the one hand, I have a beautiful family that brings be great joy and offers me unconditional love. I am so grateful, and I feel there’s nothing more special or important than my wife and kids. On the other hand, my wife and I have been facing health issues, and like most “middle-class Americans,” finances have been tight. Although I believe (spiritually and in my heart) that there is always a solution to every situation, my thoughts often wander into feeling that there’s nowhere to turn.

The road I’m traveling feels like the drive that never ends, with no relief in sight. Or so it seems. And although I think most parents face this same dilemma, that doesn’t make it right, normal or particularly sane.

I believe that we create our own reality. I’ve written about it many times on this blog, including posts on Anything is Possible; The Magic Quarter: Creating Your Own Reality; and Positive Energy: Life Changing Energy.

How does creating, or recreating, our reality work?
For those of you who haven’t heard the concept before, it’s basically about being mindful about what you’d like to bring into your existence. Think and speak about what you would like to manifest in your life and it will come. It also involves action — doing your part — to help the manifestation occur. There are a bunch of books on the subject that will explain it to you better than I can (see a brief listing below), but that’s basically it. Think, speak, do — and eventually it will manifest.

I’d like to clarify that sometimes “doing” has nothing to do with what you’re really doing. It’s about who you are being in relation to what you’re doing that’s important. Doing will keep you busy, but it’s stagnant. Being is dynamic, and is a much more powerful way to live.

In a very direct way, how you change your child’s diaper is related to changing your life. Are you happy to do it? Or complaining because the poop stinks and you’re running late, and you didn’t get a restful night’s sleep? In life, do you take action on what needs to be done to better your existence, or do you let fatigue and lack of time (difficult reasons to overcome) stop you? It’s all about being true to who you are no matter what you are doing or where you happen to be. The more positive we are, the more positivity we attract into our lives. This is no easy feat, but if we can pull it off we become like a giant magnet, attracting our desires. The bigger the magnet, the faster we create. This is how we accomplish great things.

Otherwise, we’re on a road to nowhere.

And remember, you are not alone…

Recommended books on creating your own reality:
– Conversations with God, by Neil Donald Walsh
– Spirit Healing, by Mary Dean Atwood

Related posts:
Out of Energy, Out of Time, Out of Luck?
The Magic Quarter: Creating Your Own Reality
Anything is Possible

A tribute to Sky & Sheila…

For those of you who have read Daddy Brain before, you know I have two wonderful, healthy boys. I thank the Universe every day for them (and I thank the boys for being my sons too!)

My wife and I also have two little girls who never made it into our physical world. Sheila, our first pregnancy, was ectopic. And we never did get pregnant with Sky, but we always knew her spirit existed.

I’d like to say hi to my girls and acknowledge that I love you both very much. I think about you often, and miss you here with us. I’d also like to thank you both for watching over all of us, and protecting us. 

To all of you who have lost a child, I wish you peace.

If you have healthy children, give thanks.

If you have a child who is having trouble with their health, positive energy and strength to you.

And remember, you are not alone…

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The Magic Quarter — Creating your own reality.

Creating our own happy niche in life is kind of like placing a quarter (I’m dating myself) into a video game console at the local arcade (remember those?). Find the slot for the money and put it in. Easy right? As long as you’re close enough. Try getting it in from 10 feet away, 5 feet away, or even one inch past reaching distance. The simplicity of it evaporates and what appears is struggle. Pretty insurmountable struggle — which can be avoided if we position ourselves closely to our goal.

The question is, how do we do this? How do we plan, and line ourselves up to make that finish easy? When the short term is so distracting, tiring and time consuming, it feels near impossible to even glance in the direction of the long term. But without taking the long view, there’s no way we can get to the next destination. We’ll just stand in the middle of the video arcade, pointlessly, as overwhelming noises bombard our very essence and our life slips away.

I too search for the answer. Creating my own reality feels like such hard work, but something deeper than my thoughts tells me it’s quite simple. It’s getting past the thoughts that is the challenge. Our thoughts have formed routines that are very hard to break. And I wonder, if in some sick way, we like the routines. They’re what we know, even if it’s misery.

I think part of the problem is we want instant gratification. As Americans, words like “wait” and “patience” are not ones we like to hear. I don’t know about you, but I was never taught how to have patience, let alone how to harness its power into great accomplishments. From what I have seen, many people never really try to make big changes in their lives because the process seems too long, too difficult and TOO SLOW. We simply don’t want to wait (I was like this for years). So things stay the same and we complain. Doesn’t that sound dumb when you think about it?

Inaction will have you waiting forever, completely defeating your desire to not have to wait — stop it!

Granted, we don’t all know what we want to do with our lives. So how can we take the long view when there’s nothing to look at? How do we find the coin slot when we’re not sure where to look? Or which game we truly want to play? The answer is to look within and find our quarter first.

Without the quarter, we can’t play.

To me, the quarter represents my intention or highest purpose. The quarter is a symbol of what we’re most passionate about, what represents who we truly are in the clearest way. The game we choose is the most entertaining way to play with our quarter (act upon our intention), hopefully resulting in happiness and satisfaction.

It’s a slow dance. Take a step, see if it works. If it doesn’t, try the next step. If it does, figure out the next step on this particular path. If you’ve taken the long view, then you are always headed in the right direction, so the next step can’t be that far off. But remember, you don’t beat the game on the first level. Often, you’ve got to play each level countless times until you align your knowledge and skills to even get to the final board.

This process may take many years. So what are you waiting for? Get started today for the sake of yourself and your family!!!!

Your thoughts and comments are much appreciated.

And remember, you are not alone…

Related posts:
Out of Energy, Out of Time, Out of Luck?
The Road to Nowhere: It’s Not Too Late to Recreate Your Reality
Anything is Possible