Living with Loss

Loss. It’s something we all live with every day.

There are times where I find myself harping on what I’ve lost in life instead of what I have, or what I’ve gained.

The loss of a job, a loved one, or one’s own health can make it difficult for us to move forward with our lives. It can often feel that we’ve lost the ability to smile.

On the one hand, I don’t want to ignore how I’m feeling. But I also don’t want to dwell on the past. I have a future to create, and my family is depending on me to succeed. 

In order to counter my feelings of loss, I’ve started being very conscious of how I perceive my curent situation. I’ve been looking for the positive, instead of lingering on what’s lacking.

Every morning I smile, grateful that my wife is next to me, and that my two boys are healthy. I’ve started realizing how lucky we all are, and that although I have experienced loss in my life, every day we all wake up is a good day.

Each of us are creating our tomorrows. And what we focus our attention on has a way of manifesting as our reality. 

If we’re focusing on loss, than we’re perpetuating more of the same. And in doing so, we’re losing time to make a difference in our future by dwelling on the past.

I for one am tired of this. How about you? 

And remember, you are not alone …

Family Blogs

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Just Another Day Without My Kids

Once again I’m showing my age. In 1992, one of the most popular songs was “Just Another Day” by Jon Secada (click here to play the song). The height of this song’s popularity happened to coincide with a trying time in my life. The time Kara and I were broken up.

Don’t worry, the story has a happy ending. We’re married now with two beautiful boys. But to this day, the song brings tears to my eyes. Every time I hear it, I remember what I almost lost, and how Kara and I fixed things by making major changes to ourselves. Changes that helped me become more of a man, and less of an ego based boy.

The song has been on my mind lately, and has taken on new meaning. Now, there’ s something else I’m losing. Something irreplaceable & precious: time with my kids.

Every day I go to work is just another day without them.

I waste my time, day after day working a job so I can get paid

It makes no difference what I do, for it just gets changed over and over so I have to redo (I’m a professional writer)

All the while my kids are at home, while I feel completely alone

I sell my time so my family can survive, but the feeling of loss just won’t subside

Please forgive my attempt at poetry, but this is how it feels.

The pain of loss. Frustration. Grief. Thank goodness it’s not all I have, but it’s here in my heart. Right along side the joy and gratefulness I feel because I’m lucky enough to have a beautiful family. There are divorced dads (and moms) who don’t see their kids at all for days on end. I can’t even imagine what that must be like.

I’m feeling a stronger need for major life changes again. Changes that will allow me to be with my family more AND make more money. This seems pretty daunting. But the thought of facing day after pointless day is pretty daunting too.

What’s a dad to do?

And remember, you are not alone…