Thoughts, feelings and occasional advice on being a real dad in the real world.
After reading this article’s headline, you’re probably thinking it sounds like a contradiction, right? How can you get motivated by someone who’s failed?
Well, let’s take a look at some famous failures. People like Walt Disney, Steve Jobs and Thomas Edison – all failures at one time in their lives. (more)
When I speak about goals to students and families, one of the things I do is help people create a 5-Year Vision – a very specific picture of what they want their lives to look like and who they want to be five years down the road. It’s something I learned about from Brian Tracy.
What I’ve found is that many people say they have no idea what it is they want to be doing, or who they want to be in five years. But when I ask a very simple question, almost 100% of the time their “not knowing” melts away and a clear answer begins to manifest.
So what’s the question?
What if? What if you did know? Who would you be? What would your life look like?
This question comes from the famed director and teacher, Constantine Stanislavski, one of the greatest contributors to modern theater and film acting.
Stanislavski had a theory called the “magic if,” and he instructed his actors to ask questions like: “what if I were this character? What if this were my role? How would I act? How would I react? How would I feel? If this were my life, what would I do? Who would I be?
You might be wondering what this has to do with your life. An actor playing a role and a real person are totally different – right? Not as much as you might think.
When you’re an actor, you audition for a role and you either get offered the role or you don’t. If you’re offered the role, it’s your choice whether or not you accept it. It’s completely up to you.
Life is the same way. Whether you know it or not, we’re all actors. At least to the degree that we ALL accept the role being offered to us or we don’t.
As an example, let’s say you’re a sales associate. What’s being put upon you is the role of sales associate. That’s what’s you think you should be doing, that’s what you’re being told you should be doing. And so you go into work every day, and you love it. You love working with your boss, you enjoy being a sales associate – helping people find what they need, merchandising the store, etc. It’s a good company and you’re satisfied – great!
You’re accepting that role, and you’re happy about it. It’s the role you want.
Now let’s alter the situation. You’re still a sales associate, but now you hate it. You despise it. You can’t stand your boss, you loath your calling in life – or more specifically what you think your calling in life is. And even though you hate coming into work every day, you still do.
You’re accepting that role of sales associate. It’s your choice whether or not you change it. Just like the actor, you decide.
In order to make a change, or more specifically a change that’s going to give you a more fulfilling life, you’ll need to discover, clarify and set a new goal. Then you can make a plan to help you move toward accomplishment of that goal. For more details on what I call smart goal setting, click on the links at the end of the article.
One Final Note
Sometimes when you’re thinking about change, fear rears its ugly head. You may start thinking things like, “this looks too hard. I’m scared. What if I fail?” There will be a temptation to not try at all, to remain in the same exact spot that you’re in. But remember, failure is sometimes part of the process. It’s what we do with what appears to be failure that defines our future.
It took Thomas Edison over 10,000 “failures” before he invented a working light bulb. It took Colonel Sanders (Kentucky Fried Chicken) 1,009 “failures” before he received his first yes from a restaurant to sell chicken with his secret recipe.
As Brian Tracy says, “the five years are going to pass anyway.” When you arrive at that future time, will you be happy if you’re in the same place you’re in today? As hard as it may seem to make changes, it’s just as hard – and as painful – to stay where you are.
Don’t let the deceitful feeling of “comfort” with where you are stop you from having a truly fulfilling life. You have the right to accomplish your objectives and goals.
And remember, you are not alone …
Related Links:
A Fresh Look at Goals for Parents, Kids and the Family
A Fresh Look at Goals for Parents, Kids and the Family – Part 2
Goals and Emotions
Life is Like a Cup of Coffee
Smart Goals
Some of America’s greatest success stories almost didn’t happen.
Did you know that Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team? Following this rejection he went home, locked himself in his room and cried.
Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for having no imagination and no original ideas.
Even The Beatles failed. Before they became “popular,” they were turned down by Decca Records who claimed, “we don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.”
One of Thomas Edison’s teachers told him he was “too stupid to learn anything, and that he should go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality.”
What would have happened if these people would have listened to the criticism?
Whether the criticism spurred them to greatness or not, one thing is for sure: the deciding factor in their success was not their talent. It was their ability to get back on their feet – sometimes countless times and try again.
You can do the same.
How? By learning each lesson you need to learn from your “failures,” and trying again – as many times as it takes. Do the work that needs to be done, as best you can each day. No matter how daunting. Step-by-step, day-by-day, you will get closer to your goal until it is attained.
These successful failures are perfect examples that anything is possible.
Do you listen to the critics? Are you your OWN worst critic? If so, you may be denying the world your greatness. Not to mention your family, yourself and your bank account.
You do not have to settle for less than who you are. No matter what ANYBODY says.
If Jordan had settled for less, the Knicks might have actually won a title. Scotty Pippen would have had to score a LOT more points to create the Bulls legacy. And Dennis Rodman would have fallen into obscurity instead of becoming the greatest (and weirdest) rebounder in the league.
What if Edison would have listened? We might all still be sitting in the dark.
Whether you succeed or fail is up to you. It’s your responsibility. What do you choose?
Don’t forget, your kids are watching.
And remember, you are not alone…
Related Links:
Get Motivated by Successful Failures, Part 2
Daddy Brain 