Once again I’m showing my age. In 1992, one of the most popular songs was “Just Another Day” by Jon Secada (click here to play the song). The height of this song’s popularity happened to coincide with a trying time in my life. The time Kara and I were broken up.
Don’t worry, the story has a happy ending. We’re married now with two beautiful boys. But to this day, the song brings tears to my eyes. Every time I hear it, I remember what I almost lost, and how Kara and I fixed things by making major changes to ourselves. Changes that helped me become more of a man, and less of an ego based boy.
The song has been on my mind lately, and has taken on new meaning. Now, there’ s something else I’m losing. Something irreplaceable & precious: time with my kids.
Every day I go to work is just another day without them.
I waste my time, day after day working a job so I can get paid
It makes no difference what I do, for it just gets changed over and over so I have to redo (I’m a professional writer)
All the while my kids are at home, while I feel completely alone
I sell my time so my family can survive, but the feeling of loss just won’t subside
Please forgive my attempt at poetry, but this is how it feels.
The pain of loss. Frustration. Grief. Thank goodness it’s not all I have, but it’s here in my heart. Right along side the joy and gratefulness I feel because I’m lucky enough to have a beautiful family. There are divorced dads (and moms) who don’t see their kids at all for days on end. I can’t even imagine what that must be like.
I’m feeling a stronger need for major life changes again. Changes that will allow me to be with my family more AND make more money. This seems pretty daunting. But the thought of facing day after pointless day is pretty daunting too.
What’s a dad to do?
And remember, you are not alone…
2 Replies to “Just Another Day Without My Kids”
Your words here echo the sentiment you mentioned when you were interviewed on WPR. I know what you mean and the little time I do have with my girls becomes that much more prescious because of this. I don;t have answers unless you can quit your job and work from home…which maybe you could if you could find the right gig!
Sad and true – we won’t regret spending time with our little ones, but what can we do? Parents have to pay the rent or the mortgage somehow. Selling our time is how it’s done in this day and age, like it or not.
Your kiddos are very lucky to have such a caring dad.